New heights in insanity

I have eight projects on the go. EIGHT.

1. A St Kilda beanie for my da.
2. Bedsocks for my da.
3. My niece's skirt being turned into a cushion.
4. My cabled orange shrug.
5. My scoop neck Fair Isle vest.
6. An alpaca teddy for my new nephew, Rohan (hi!)
7. My two yarn brown jumper.
8. My purple scarf of gorgeousness.

I have hit new heights of stupidity. I must have.

A slack a**e Thursday

24 hours, 36 hours…..never? I know that digital camera is floating around somewhere, the problem is where exactly. So now I need to find it. *sigh* Easier said than done, I’m afraid.

You see, on the night of the 26th I finished making my Nana’s tea cosy. And my hands got all itchy again. Nathan asked “So what’s the next project?” and I didn’t know what to answer. You see, I didn’t have a nice portable, easy to knit assignment at the ready, astounding as that may seem. I spent all of the next day with no knitting, which was just horrid during the day – we were driving around everywhere and I was forced to sit on my hands so I didn’t bite my fingernails, which is far harder than you might think.

When I was getting ready that night, and awaiting my chauffeur, I rummaged through my unallocated stash box to see what I could use, and flicked through a few magazines to see what I had marked off. The best candidate was a Fair Isle vest with huge amounts of ribbing at the beginning, and I thought my Jo Sharp DK in “Scarlet” was perfect as the main colour. Just after I packed it all up, ready to knit on the way to the party I thought I should just check my list. Lo and behold – Rowan Gloves. Oh yes! I’d completely forgotten about them, they’re very portable and I already had the Wool Cotton in red put aside (in the allocated stash box – see? I’m sort of organised). This caused a flurry of running about, grabbing yarn, pattern and The Great Double Point Needle Hunt, a weekly occurrence.

I cast on in the car, and by Sunday night I had finished the right glove – so fast, so easy. Except that I don’t like them. The pattern has a seam, and it feels icky. Unsurprisingly, I’ve spent today undoing the seams, frogging the fingers and reknitting in the round on 3mm needles. Now, they’re perfect.

And finished. No pics, for rather obvious reasons. They’re so wonderful to wear and grope and lust over. Highest compliment received for them was my very young workmate Sam: “They’re wicked!”. High praise indeed…

My current household project is a doozy. My best friend in the world has ‘fessed up to being pregnant, and you know what that means: baby knits! Finally! I’m so happy I’m almost sick with joy, and of course I’ve started. I cast on for a variation on the Pi Shawl from “Yarn” Magazine, and I’m halfway through – 288 stitches. I’m not looking forward to the edging, though; you pick up an edge st at the end of each row, by which time you have 576 stitches. Which means…576 rows. Of 16 stitches each row. 9216 stitches. If this doesn’t show my love, then nothing will.

I’m currently onto row number 102, which sounds pretty wussy for me, but when you count I’m also working with the full 576 stitches it’s not too bad. Really. I swear.

Sadly, my home knitting has been harshly curtailed by my inability to understand reality. In other words, I need to make a patchwork quilt by February 25^th for my da’s birthday present. Shame I don’t know how to quilt…

Tuesday I have Friday on my mind....

Well known fact about me: I loathe Christmas. I love the reasons behind it, I enjoy singing carols, hey – I even had a tree. Of sorts. Tea lights count, don’t they? However, I’ve spent far too many decades with a mother making a big deal of Christmas. A very very VERY big deal. Hence, my reaction against it.

In other words, I haven’t posted because I’ve been recovering from the lead up and basic celebrations, not to mention the knitting I needed to do for the day. Highlights include a rather fetching overly yellow tea cosy for Nathan’s grandparents (the colour is to match their kitchen, no really) knitted in three working days, another set of the cabled gloves in pink for my Nana for Christmas and Kirsten’s infamous “Sweet Lord how tacky can this be?” birthday skirt. The poppet wondered if it was for her doll… There are no photos. I can’t do that to society.

Since then, I’ve been knitting my fingers to the bone. Well, not so bad that the glove is back, but that’s partly because my job has become a tad slacker. Also I’ve been working early so I can come home early and knit as much as I want, to all of my fabulous Christmas DVDs that everyone bought me: Nathan contributed the final series of “Press Gang” and “Wives and Daughters”, and due to an influx of Borders vouchers and a 25% voucher I bought the complete set of “Hornblower” and the cut-out book of Unseen University. If I don’t answer your phone calls, it’s because I’m perving. Honest.

However, you’re no doubt interested in hearing about what I’ve been knitting, and whether I’ve actually finished anything. Fear not, gentle readers! I have managed to not only finish projects, but also wear them in public – no really, I’m not joking. The blue cotton tank top was finished without any ado rather swiftly, and I actually had to frog part of it because I’d knitted that far past the length I needed. Wonders will never cease… Actually, wonder of wonders, my mother likes it. Compliments were given. I repeat, wonders….

The next project on my list was inspired by the pink yarn I made my Nana’s gloves from. It was the exact same shade as a pattern in Interweave Knits (Summer 2005) by Lisa Daehlin called “Viennese Shrug” that I had tagged in my magazine collection, so I thought it can’t be that hard… It wasn’t. A provisional cast on, knit left half, pick up right half, done. Started on a Friday, finished by the Tuesday next. 11 days. I amazed myself. And everyone at work who watched me knit it. “So now what do you do?” “Is it meant to look like that?” and the most beautiful words in the world: “Can you teach me to knit?” It was a fun knit – lots of yarn overs, twists, moss stitch edging (I knew I could finally get it right!) and my favourite instruction: “2^nd and all alternate rows – purl”. As you can see, though, it’s technically not finished. Blocking and ends to sew away yet, so I’ll give a full body shot in all it’s glory as soon as I get a chance to finish it. *sigh* Once again I managed to get a compliment from my mum, which is always a highlight.

Sadly, the highlight was dimmed when I was reminded of Nana’s birthday. However, I was reminded that the knitted gloves went down very well, so I’m been remanded to knit another tea cosy, which I’m sure you all know how painful it is for me to knit, i.e. not at all. I love tea cosies, they’re beautiful and practical expressions of art. I was at Magnation on Collins Street and bought the latest copy of “Yarn” magazine, simply because of two tea cosy patterns, I’d read “Yarn” before but hadn’t felt the buzz that I needed to buy it. This time I can recommend it to one and all – this issue is stunning. There’s 5 things that I need to make. NEED. The saddest one, the project that made Nathan laugh out loud – coat hanger covers. But they’re pretty and non-craft fair-y. I want them! Anyway, I made the tea cosy just like my mum wanted, but the colours weren’t quite what I had in mind for my nana, despite being beautiful DK variegated cotton. I plan to make another cosy for my mum and use it, and cover it in crocheted cotton pansies and watch her get all gooey. Well, hopefully, she’ll like it.

Nana’s is being made in a much better yarn for her – minty green DK mohair, decorated in daisy wheels using DMC linen in dusky pink and creamy yellow to match Nana’s kitchen. Sadly, however, I have no pictures for you right now, because it’s hiding at Nathan’s place to be handed over to my mum to deliver it to Nana.

Now, whilst I would love to show you my shots of everything mentioned so far, I have a problem: I have no idea where the camera is. It’s in my flat somewhere, which doesn’t really narrow it down unfortunately. Give me 24 more hours and we’re set. That way I can start telling you what I’m working on now.

A cranky Monday

I stuffed up something rather badly today, so I'm in an amazingly bad mood. I managed to spend 45 minutes working on 1 strip of my dad's Christmas quilt. And I had already done it, but not crossed that line off on the schematic. You want annoyed? Come on over.

On the knitting front I have been somewhat distracted since last Thursday. I went into Clegs and found the most squishy soft beautiful yarn from New Zealand called "Me", and it is so me! It's a scrummy deep purple that is almost edible, and it's 80% wool and 20% cashmere and very soft and yummy and scrummy and - oh wait, I already said that. Sorry.

Most importantly it's almost all gone. 1 ball equals one set of cabled fingerless gloves (yes, Chantal, this is why I planned to yell at you). On Cup Day I saw the "Fetching" fingerless gloves in progress and in hot pink, I might add. Despite this colour I was not put off and have now finished the set, sewing in the ends not included.

I did plan to work on my tank top, but I had to finish these gloves. Really. And I couldn't knit it at the movies on Saturday night because I need to keep untwisting the yarn and wrapping a hair tie around it (I recommend "Children of Men", by the way. Excellent movie. If you don't cry, you're heartless.).

So tomorrow morning, another early wake up - not as hard as I thought they would be - and back to work on my tank top.

A slacker than slack Tuesday

Ah, Melbourne Cup day... An excuse for locals to slack off and do naught but drink. Or sleep in. Some do both. I myself slept so long I missed the race. Ooops.

A weekend of voracious knitting has in fact just passed - true joy, verily. I spent Saturday doing new and exciting tasks that I've never tried before; washing dishes, mopping floors, vacuuming. Hey, did you know you can clean a bath tub? Weird, huh?

I managed to leave my started knitting at work on Friday. Luckily, I have another set of 5.5mm circulars so on Staurday afternoon, post cleaning, I began the front. Why waste a weekend alone when you can knit and watch "Bleak House"? All 7.5 hours of it... I cried at the wedding. Again. It reminded me that I need to rewatch "North and South" and "Vanity Fair" and buy "Wives and Daughters". I also cried at Charlie finding the 5th ticket while flicking channels on Saturday night. That's when I realised I needed to go out.

Hrm... Saturday night? Alone? Fairly poor? Borders!!! God bless the Jam Factory Borders store. They don't mind you spending four hours reading a book that you'll never purchase. In this case "Handknit Holidays" by Melanie Falick. Oh, drool. I've already planned to use my edible purple Colinette to make the twist scarf. This woman is a genius, a veritable goddess of knitting (until Divine J writes her book. Then look out Mel...). Anyone who describes this book as "nice knitting" must be killed immediately. There's a St Lucia wreath for mercy's sake! I sat in Borders whimpering for half an hour (mainly at the $59.95 price tag and lack of money on me) and I swear it shall be mine...

As a result of two days hard labour at my knitting I am pleased to announce some results. My cotton tank top (front) is currently measuring 21cm (just over 8 inches) which means I'm well over halfway to knitting 13 inches as the pattern requests (hey Americans! The rest of the world is metric. Your military is metric. Catch up!"). Unfortunately, spare time between now and Saturday? Practically non-existant. I'm going to try my old "get up early and knit" routine I used to do last summer when N. was away. It worked rather well, so hopefully I can do it again. Problem is that it requires a good sleep the night before and I'm not even tired right now. Ah well, one can only try.

A calmer Wednesday

Rumours of my death? Exaggerated. Rumours of my crippling? Sadly, terribly true.

I haven't been able to knit for pretty much the last month. I spent so much time knitting my sleeves to "Bleak House" that my hand cramped up. Normally, I would (very reluctantly) put my needles down for a day or two and rest my hand. However, I started my new job working on the census, and I had to type. A lot. Really a lot.

Say hello to my leetle frien'! (Always wanted to save that for a good reason.) This is my typing glove. It makes sure I don't scream in pain every time I sit down at a keyboard. The nails are now gone, decimated in the name of typing without crying.

So, I picked up my needles the last few days in the hope that I can ignore the pain shooting up my right arm. And I can.

Behold! The red jumper! All finished! It was so much fun to knit. It's the first time I've ever designed a jumper and this one is all raglan in the round. I still had to sew up the sleeves, but as I like sewing up sleeves, not a big problem. Carrying around the knitting was worse - it's very hard to walk and knit with a whole jumper on a circular.

However, there is a problem...

It's huge. I made a ribbed cowl neck and it's too wide. I look like a picture of Ann-Margaret from the 60's in it. The current plan is to thread elastic through the neck and hope it isn't too noticeable. *sigh* The best laid plans etc etc.

So, now I'm back, what's next to work on? Started an aran cotton tank top to wear over summer, and then I'll go back and check up on the list to see what's next. I really feel like sewing some more though - stupid warm weather makes me want to drop my needles and sew instead. Maybe the circular needle holder from the first S'n'B book...

An aggravating Monday

Yesterday, in a fit of joy I purchased Vogue Knitting (Holiday Edition). I got home late last night, so I didn't get a chance to read it until today. A few scrummy patterns in there, along with an article that screamed "Andrea, you must read me!": "The book on knitting". There's a small mini article entitled "Books to Knit by" written by Joanne Seiff, with additional reporting by Carol Huebscher Rhoades. I sat down to read it and, I believed, happily agree.

Not a bloody chance. Under the heading "Novels" is a brief review of "Knitting" by Anne Bartlett. Here's what it says: "Knitting and friendship are the common threads that help heal Martha's illnesses and Sandra's grieving heart as the two are brought together first by an accident, then by fate." I borrowed this novel from my library last week and read it in two installments, a fact which should surprise anyone who knows my reading style (3am? Bah - I'll just finish this row chapter...). It took me two nights because the first night's reading depressed me so much that I had to stop.

This novel is just awful.

The two main characters are completely unlikeable, as they are written. Sandra comes across as an elitest, disdainful and almost stupidly selfish. Martha - well, lunatic comes close. I refuse to believe that anyone who can't finish work that has a mistake in it ever worked for a "famous designer" as a knitter - what did she do then? Remake under pressure of a deadline? The final scenes are an apparent redemption for the two revolting women - Martha has no insanity anymore, due to a fever breaking, and Sandra appears apparently happy at the gift of a hand knitted dress that she receives with such a lack of gratitude that makes me wonder why Martha doesn't strangle her with it.

This was a waste of paper. Truly, truly awful. I threw the book across the room when I had finished I was that furious.

So, you can imagine how impressed I was by that brief snippet. But wait, worse is in store. Under the final heading - "Victorian-Era Novels with Mentions of Knitting" - we find the sloppiest piece of writing I've ever seen. "Charles Dickens's A Tale of Two Cities" ("Yay!" says Andrea's brain. "I love this book!"). "The complex plot focuses on Madame DeFarge, whose knitting appears to absorb her but in reality symbolizes her control over the masses. This knitting reference has become synonymous with the book."

"...plot focuses on Madame Defarge...". What?! Are they on drugs? Madame DeFarge is not the focus of the plot, but a secondary character, and the knitting doesn't "symbolize" anything, but a register and an attempt to hide her blood thirsty nature. Although, the old style steel needles are rather pointy...

It took me an hour to calm down after reading this article, I suspect because of the innacuracy of the latter review. The ending of "Tale of Two Cities" is beautiful and one of the most moving pieces of literature ever created (..." It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever known." Try coming to that and not crying - you have a stone where your heart is, I swear.)

Luckily, I am easily distracted by pretty pretty pictures, so the patterns lulled me in, but I'm still peeved.

I promise, I'll explain my long absence tomorrow, if only so Chantal has something else to read.

A tiring Friday and Saturday

Friday was another long day at my new job with almost no knitting achieved. Possibly four lines, tops. Luckily for me today required a long boring train journey. Oh, poor me, whatever will I do?

Knit my sleeve? Correct! I have eight rows to knit and my sleeve will be completely finished and I can join my whole jumper up. Unfortunately, my right hand doesn't seem to like me, and my knuckles keep cramping up - old athritis problem rears it's ugly head again. I don't know if I should take a break tomorrow, or (bad pun approaching - take cover!) knuckle down and join my sleeves to my jumper? It's a tough decision, and - with your leave - I think I'll sleep on it.

An exhausting Wednesday and Thursday

I started my new job yesterday, so my breezy days of non-stop knitting are all over. Until the work runs out next May and I slack off for another three weeks.

Yesterday I managed a grand total of twenty rows (above left), and that was only due to the need to travel by tram to and from work.

Last night at the V.E. it was non-stop and I barely knitted 6 rows. So I was determined to manage a bit more today.

So far, I've managed fourteen - work was non-stop and the V.E. is always busy on a Thursday. This is hopeless! Luckily I have a two hour lunch break tomorrow, and I plan to spend a lot of it knitting. I need to finish this jumper - read the list; I need to keep going.

A knit-free Tuesday

Not a stitch today. Not a single solitary stitch was knitted. This was not only due to my extreme busyness (is that even a word?) but also because I wanted to rest my hand. Instead I cleaned.

This is my wool cupboard. It's an old 1920's oak and walnut armoire I bought years ago and I've been using it for my knitting supplies for the past few years. It was a mess up until a few weeks ago when I separated my stash into two groups - 1. projects to make, and 2. pure stash. This tidied up the worst of it and made it easier to control.

I put the divided stash into two large boxes I got from Ikea, and then set about cleaning up the rest. The top section contains an antique weaving shuttle and my knitting needle roll. The top drawer has a few knitting patterns I plan to knit up, the second drawer has my niece's projects that they are coming over to knit next holidays and the third drawer has a pile of old knitting patterns my mum gave me that make me laugh. Good ol' tacky 70's knits and crochet bikinis...

The bottom section has a bag with a project to be finished and my ball winder. Now here's hoping that this might make me a bit more efficient.

I'm crossing my fingers even now.

A lazy Monday

A lot of knitting but very little else achieved, unless you count nine episodes of "Bleak House" viewed. It really is awfully good to knit to, especially when the knitting is nothing but stocking stitch with the occasional increase.

As you can see, I have now finished the first sleeve and started my second. I would have been further along, but I mentioned to my boyfriend that my right hand felt a bit strained and he made me promise not to knit again until tomorrow. Actually, it's just past midnight - it might count... I think, however, he may have meant me to sleep on the idea and continue in the morning. Tuesday is to be very busy as I start my new job on Wednesday morning and my lax holiday will come to an end. So I must clean voraciously, because I can't be organised and juggle three jobs whilst living in chaos. Although I've somehow managed it before, albeit not all that well.

I was worried at how short my "cuff" was, as the stocking stitch curled straight away, but two rows of double crochet soon fixed it and it's beautifully flat. I think I'll do the same to the bottom of the jumper. I'll be finished it soon enough, I'm sure.

A very busy weekend

Non stop action in everything but knitting this weekend. Burlesque shows, electric eclectic string quartets and Father's Day x 2. It seemed as if the days were neverending.

But end they did. My da liked his doll, but didn't seem over enthused, which worries me greatly.


I think Bobby (short for Bobby Jones, a name still invoked by golfers with a hint of awe) looks quite spiffy, myself, but I shall let you be the judge.

As for myself, what next? I work now on my red cabled jumper, knitted in Jo Sharp Silkroad Aran Tweed in the rather scrummy colour of "Posie". The jumper is knitted in the round and I am up to the armholes, and now I need to knit the sleeves. Instead of knitting those in the round I plan to knit them on straight needles, and then join them up with the rest of the jumper to continue in the round, finishing with sewing down the sleeve seams. I know that sewing up seems to be a chore for other knitters, but I rather enjoy it, even though I delay as long as possible in the action of it. Not from dislike, but from a fear of making it look clunky and very much hand made.

This is how much sleeve may be knitted whilst watching three hours of "Bleak House" on dvd. It's all mine now, and is very wonderful, and a Victorian soapie as all Dicken's stories were. Great to knit to.

A balmy Friday

Today was minimal knitting. I finished working on the golf cap for my da's present and I think he looks quite spiffy in it. It's cashmere again, four strands this time, which makes it chunky but very flexible.

Technically it is a 6ply (4 x 1.5ply), but it felt closer to an 8ply, especially when I was knitting the brim.

Isn't he cute? Now to finish the rest of his outfit for the Sunday presentation.

A bleurgy Thursday

Woke up, threw up, went back to sleep. Repeat literally ad nauseum.

So, no knitting today. Well, okay I started my da's golf cap, but nothing much was done. Tomorrow, hopefully.

A rocking Wednesday

Ladies and gentleman, here they are... the hottest, sexiest girls in "melancholy indie guitar" today...

WE'VE GOT OVARIES!!! (crowd goes wild as if at a David Cassidy concert)

Finally! It's taken far too long, but they're done. I shall hand them over to Petria tomorrow night and pray she doesn't hate them.


Just look at that luxurious hair...

(I'd like to point out a girl actually died due to a David Cassidy concert. See? Riotous fun times.)

A shiny Tuesday

Early to bed, early to rise etc etc. Late to bed, late to rise, lay around knitting is much better I think. Today is semi-triumphant as I have finally finished Petria.

(author pauses as applause, accolades and flowers are showered upon her)

Anyone who knows Petria will know that she has far sleeker, sexier hair, but there is no chance of me styling this doll's hair to look like her. If she wants it layered more, she owns scissors.

Julia, in the meantime, looks somewhat bedraggled. Her hair is not even an outline as yet, and as I now know that Petria's hair took four hours from start to finish, I'm not is a big hurry to finish. Soon. I still have finish Da's doll by Sunday...

A very large thank you goes out to Jodi for my beautiful stich markers. These are perfect for the decreases in my red jumper (once I get up to the arm joins). Jodi, you rock.

Monday. Meh.

It started out ever so nicely. Lots to do, lunch with my nan - Happy 90th Nan! - and went downhill from there.

These dolls are driving me crazy. I can't work on anything else until they're done and I keep thinking that will never happen. This is how much hair I managed to create tonight. Three hours work - half a head of hair.

First you take a strand of Jo Sharp DK Cotton, split it in half so that you have two lots of six strands, then use your 0.75mm crochet hook to start pulling the hair through each stitch.

It is time consuming and tedious and I hate it with a fiery passion that makes me think of burning the dolls at a home-made stake. Or the microwave. I'm not fussy.

A pleasant Sunday

I got a bit of knitting done today. I had family party to attend - my nan's 90th - which was a lot of fun and I enjoyed it immensely and escaped as soon as I could. After I got home I needed a nap, followed by a bath, then - finally - knitting.



I started working on Julia's neck which is a tedious knit in the round, just as Petria's was, and I got bored very very quickly. Luckily, there's always more to do. Including estimating the worth of these dolls...

40¢. Per doll. Technically. I wanted them to be able to stand with some assistance, so I put a 20¢ coin in the bottom of the shoe for Petria's doll. Not only handy but shiny too.

Then came the hair. Oh dear Heavenly Father, the hair. All that you see here is the outside line that delineates the hairline. This took me over half an hour. I'm currently trying to work out what is worse - that I've ony managed to achieve an outline in half an hour, that there's the rest of the head to do, or that I have a whole other doll to play hairdresser with.

Tough call.

A very satisfactory Saturday

Today was a nice slow knitting day. Got up late, had a very healthy breakfast of coffee and a large jammy biscuit - thanks greatly to Chantal - and sat down to knit the Petria doll a head. The pattern is pretty simple but 5 stitches per needle is never fun. The true fun started when I got to stuff the doll itself.

All you really need is a chopstick, stuffing and a warped sense of mind. Hence, the bust - I couldn't find anything round to stuff up there, so I rolled up some stuffing into little hard balls and shoved them up there. Petria will be happy that she has boobs. I can pretty much guarantee that.

I was about to start the shoes when my boyfriend arrived earlier than expected and ended my knitting session abruptly. I shall have to continue tomorrow night after my nan's surprise 90th birthday party.

Look - boobs!

A wonderful Friday

2:50am - done.