Lazy hours

Two episodes of "Grimm", interspersed with ironing and knitted stamen.

I like lazy days, but I like productive ones even more.

Throwback Thursday

Oooo, have I got a doozy for you all today. Not only am I a junkie, but I'm a hooker as well*, so I've reached into the folder for a vintage crochet pattern book today.

Crochet Book No. 1 by Villawool. Granny square cardigan front cover. I love granny squares desperately, hence the purchase.

I want the blue skirt. I think if I made it in graduating colours it'd look really really cool. But not all one colour, and definitely not a suit.

"I am shocked, genuinely shocked at this photoshoot."

These are almost nice. I like the white one. I think it's be great for summer nights. But all this yellow...

"I'm just a sweet transvestite....From transexual Transylvaniaaaaaaaaa-haha!"

The bun holder to match the dress. Spiffy, I tells ya.

Back cover? The duster. With snood. Add massive sunglasses. Classy.

Same as usual: let me know if you want a pdf and it shall be done!

* Junkie = knitter (we both use needles), hooker = crocheter. Mind out of the gutters, people.

New or old?

While I was sorting through my yarn I also took a look at my future projects. I have bags with balls of yarn and the pattern to go with it, all ready and waiting for me to knit it.

But what if I don't want to? What happens when you sound like a whining infant crying "But I don't want to knit that! I want to knit that other thing!"? Do I listen to my inner brat and feed her chocolate-style knitting until she pukes everywhere or do I tell her "No, you get what you're given" and start knitting the projects I've put aside?


* Chocolate Cupcake Tea Cosy designed by Audrey Wilson, who is a bloody genius. I love it.

Life's little speed humps

I love it when I'm motoring along, getting my life in order. You know the sort of thing: housework done by 10am, planned projects coming together, debts paid off and good times to be had. Life goes well.

Then there's a speed hump.

It doesn't have to be anything major. A spell of hot weather that keeps us all indoors, or a parking fine that was forgotten, or everything happening at once and no matter how many lists you write out there really aren't 27 hours in a day.

Last weekend was when it all started catching up with me. I had work on Saturday morning, followed by a trip to Wondoflex for yarn, and then the freeway had an accident so I managed to get off on the next ramp but got home later that expected. I got changed and went off to work, only to find I was working until 5:30. I got home, we had dinner, put Marcus to bed and I went off to grab all the ingredients for the Australia Day BBQ. I stayed up until stupid o'clock making an Iced Vovo Tart (never again - far too sweet for me) and painting the Australian flag on my toenails (really) and went off to bed.

Sunday was BUSY. I got up and made cupcakes for the bbq, followed by the traditional pavlova, this time in the shape of Australia. We arrived late (not that late but late enough) and had a lovely time. Well, until Dot cracked it and I had to take her for a drive/sleep. We got back in time for dessert - huzzah! - but we left shortly afterwards. Marcus had an absolute ball being in the middle of the big kid's water fights and his big cousin Connor took fantastic care of him even while attacking everyone else with a supersoaker. Unsurprisingly, the kids went down early, leaving the grown ups with the dishes. I really dislike being the grown up sometimes.

Monday started off brilliantly. We tidied stuff up, planned our day, and I mowed the front and back lawns. We drove to the local tip to get rid of a bunch of cardboard. We came home and Dot went to bed. I did a Masters run and bought us a new printer as well. That's when it all went wrong.

Felix and I were sorting out the printer in the back room when there was a "thunk" followed by a scream, the kind that doesn't stop. I ran into the lounge room and Marcus was screaming with blood pouring out of his head. I freaked out, understandably, and Felix rang an ambulance. It's a nasty cut just next to his right eyebrow, so it bleed terribly. I'm just thanking God a lot that his eye is fine.The lovely LOVELY ambulance officers were wonderful and we all agreed that his daddy could take him to the hospital instead. The screams had woken Dot up, so I stayed at home worrying to death with her. Eventually Felix called and let me know it was all fine and they were coming home and could I make sure there was some ice cream ready?

Our poor little boy. He's a bit confused about the pain in his head but we think he'll be fine. As for our new grey hairs... they are many and hard earned.

Waddle waddle waddle

A while back my lovely sister-in-law Monique sent me a link to a competition for knitting. Automatic ears pricking up, that is. First prize is a trip for two to Phillip Island and visiting penguins and being a park ranger for a day and a $250 Spotlight voucher so I was very interested.

Then I put it aside to work on wedding roses and finding the floor in my bungalow once again.

Today I began knitting a penguin jumper. It shall be snazzy. Well, this one will be. I have a second one planned, too.

Wait a minute....

It's almost 10:30? Wow.

I forgot to knit today.  Didn't even think about it,  not once.

Huh.

Really? Do I look like a freaking hipster?

I was patiently waiting at Aldi in Burwood to buy my coffee pods after a somewhat meh day. As usual, I had my anti-queue knitting with me and was happily needling away when it happened.

The incredibly foolish man behind me: "Knitting at the supermarket? How very hipster."

A knitting hipster* has those huge glasses. A knitting hipster briefly yarn-bombed stuff before everyone else got into it. A knitting hipster only reads knitting zines. A knitting hipster will actually tell you that they were into knitting before it was cool.

I am a knitter. I have used my hair bun as a swift while 8.75 months pregnant. I've won competitions for my work. I've been knitting for 35 years this March. I have double point needle scars on the back of my legs, for &%#@'s sake.

I am going to slaughter this man. I turned around and gave him THE LOOK.

"EXCUSE ME?!?"

The incredibly foolish man manages to look embarrassed and terrified at the same time, even as he takes a step backwards.

"I HAVE TWO SHARP STICKS AND YOU HAVE TWO EYEBALLS" I bellowed as I gave my best Brian Blessed impersonation, turned and paid for my coffee then swept somewhat majestically out of the store.

Incredibly foolish people should just mind their own business.

* The knitter in the picture is Yokoo Gibraan. I have no idea if she actually is a hipster, but the photo is pretty awesome, as are her chain scarves.

Throwback Thursday

I am fully aware that today is Monday. However, I failed to give you a Throwback Thursday last week as that would have forced me to leave the air conditioning and head out into the bungalow. Which has no air conditioning. Wasn't gonna happen.

I'm making it up to you all by giving you the glorious Book 50 from Vogue Knitting, from March 1957. Form an orderly queue, please.

First up, we have the fabulous Princess Dress. Perfect for walking your oversized poodles with.

A SUIT. An actual knitted suit. They don't make 'em like this anymore.

A very cabled dress with a cinched in waist and oversize sunglasses. I'm in Grace Kelly heaven here.

C'mon! You know you want a boat. Ask your cat. Your cat is thinking about buying a boat.

This vest comes in 12 sizes. That's 12 different people to dislike you for knitting them a vest.

If you don't want to knit this upon sight, we can't be friends. We just can't.

Evening wear in lurex and 2-ply? Not a chance, but I love the look of it.

I want to grow up and be this model, honestly I do.

So, should I scan this pattern book and add it to the site for download? Let me know, my readers, and it shall be done.

Oh, and nobody show this to my dad or he'll request it. Cables & crew neck? My dad's idea of happiness.

Day 5 of HOT weather

I have a tad too much yarn. Some I bought because it was there, some because it was on sale (oh sale yarn! You vile temptress!), some is leftovers from a project that I over-ordered because having too much is better than having too little.

On the other hand... some space in the bungalow would be nice. So I'll be spending next week with the better weather tidying up the bungalow - yes AGAIN, what of it?! - and finishing up on Friday with a massive blog destash sale! That's right: yarn for people to own. I have more than enough to be getting on with, and any money earned will be put towards a spinning wheel!

Wait, I fib, 20% will be going to the One Voice charity organisation. They're currently building mobile showers for the homeless and I think it's a wonderful idea.

There's a lot of work to do getting it all done but next week, but with my lovely niece Ashleigh helping out I'm sure I'll get it all ready!

Um, Ash? Are you busy next week?

Day 4 of HOT weather

I'm cold.

Lovely and cold.

It's beautiful here.

Lots of ice and snow.

Bliss.

My imagination is lovely. In reality:

I'm now leaving in 43 degree heat to go to work. *whimper*

Day 3 of HOT weather

On Monday and Tuesday I braved the elements to go off and work in the evening, at my Weight Watchers job. It was ridiculously hot and I whimpered a lot. While we were packing up I was talking to two members about how I was knitting up Joannah's wedding bouquet of roses and crocheting love hearts for the decorations, which are going to look wonderful.

"You must love showing it off, then." I laughed off the comment, but it grated. I've been thinking on it for the last few days and now I'm ready to think it out loud.

I don't make things to show off. I don't go "over the top", I make an effort*.  If I make something it's because I like to make things, and I think it will make other people happy. If your response to my creation is that I'm showing off (which most people would never say out loud) I think you might be projecting your own issues a little. If what I made makes even one person happy, then I've succeeded in what I wanted to do.

I'm making roses for Joannah's wedding bouquet because I'm brilliant at it and it makes her giddily happy. At least I think it's giddily happy, because she got fairly squealy when I made this first one.

* This does not include my children's birthday parties. They are over the top. Shamelessly, ridiculously over the top.

Day 2 of HOT weather

Only one thing to do when it hits 34° at 10:00am: browse the internet for the perfect winter knits!

The perfect winter beanie: Contempt headband (just add a crown!). Understandably, I want the one that states "I love winter"!

The perfect winter jumper for me: Kobe, from Amirisu online magazine. Go and browse, it's worth it!

The perfect winter jumper for Felix: Guido, by Debbie Bliss. I have some very yummy charcoal Zara for this one.

The perfect children's jumper:

I want it for both of them. The question is do you make two the same, or two that co-ordinate?

Day 1 of HOT weather

It's going to be a nasty week. 35°, 43°, 39°, 41° and 40°. I'm not looking forward to the overnight low of 28 between Thursday and Friday, either. That's not a low, that's a summer day! Thankfully we have an air conditioner in the lounge room and a portable air conditioner we'll be using in front of the bedrooms on Thursday night.

Only one thing to do, and that's crochet love hearts and sew in a HUGE amount of ends, then get more yarn and start all over again.

Knit? In this weather?

Are you CRAZY?!?

It's 11:55pm, and I just turned the air conditioner off. Knit?!? Not likely!

Throwback Thursday

My darling Joannah has atrocious taste in knitting books. As in, going out and finding the most terrible, tacky, over-the-top 60/70/80's knitting books she can discover at op shops. Then she gives them to me. Because I love them.

That means I'm the one with the atrocious taste, not to mention a plethora of tacky/vintage/insane knitting and crochet books. And pamphlets. And leaflets. And things cut out of newspapers. So from now on I'll share them with you all every Thursday and even have copies to download (Only the ones out of copyright. I like not being sued.).

Today brings the glorious epistle "Knit Me A Rainbow" by Ye Goode Olde Family Circle. Ahhhh, Family Circle. I miss you. Especially the stories about Selby, the world's only talking dog. And Cocky's Circle Club.* As you can see by the cover, this book was printed in the 80's. Now, when it comes to knitting books it's great to make fun of things. In the 60's books it's the models terrible poses. In the 70's books it's the flares and the men's moustaches. But the 80's? Hair and makeup. Soooooooooo bad.

Look at this bowl cut. Mummy obviously foresaw a future where this photo would not get her child mercilessly teased. Mummy was an idiot.

Awwwww, crimping! Who didn't love the crimper in the 80's? My own sister Leah had one in high rotation in 1985. It doesn't help that the poor model/victim is posing in the most fluffy mohair jumper. With an off-centre hairband.

Oh, so much to say. I can't. It's just too cruel.

Lest you think I'm being mean and just picking on these poor children I present to you a blonde version of me on the right. Picture her with brown hair and it's me at 12. Especially the head scarf. Except mine would have had a HUGE bow.

Once you move on to the pictures without models you can concentrate on the jumpers more. This one isn't bad, per se, just needs a different collar, less 80's sleeves etc. I like the idea of it in cream.

If this was in a different colourway I might make it for Dot. I loathe pink with a passion, but I like this effect. I'd have the button bands the same colour as the jumper, though. Ditto the collar.

Cables. I am a sucker for cables. On little boys it just looks perfect. I really am quite old fashioned sometimes. The pattern used Patons Herdwick, which is one of the itchiest yarns available. Knits up sloppily but washes like a dishrag, again proving that you can't have it all in yarn.

Final opinion? One or two possibilities, but generally worth it for the laughs!

*Kingfisher 294

This is why people get murdered

My bronchitis is driving me insane. After a massive coughing fit and the discovery that I had only one remaining Butter Menthol with Lemon & Honey (aka bliiiiiiiiisssss) I drove down to Woolworths to buy some more.

At the self serve I was trying to discretely hack up a lung when the stranger next to me leant across and said "Sounds like you should give up the smokes, love." After I stopped coughing - which also gave me time to rein in my homocidal tendancies - I informed the gentleman that I had bronchitis and had never smoked in my life. Which was completely different to what I was saying in my head.

Now I shall sit back and watch two episodes of "Sleepy Hollow", perve outrageously on Ichabod, eat strawberry sorbet and Butter Menthols and knit.

That man should be damn grateful I didn't have knitting with me. Two pointy sticks, two eyeballs. You do the maths.

Getting better

After an evening at work I get home to finish off a ho hum day.

Dinner, second episode of Sherlock and sewing up a customers jumper. Quite a nice evening ahead.

Sympathy for the devil

I've been unwell now for three weeks. I realised today that I've been running at less than 100% for a while, closer to 60% most days, and it sucks greatly. I also realised that I know quite a few people with chronic illness and I now have a very small amount of understanding as to how much every day must suck for them. I bow before you all.

My current problem is that I have to suck this up and take care of two unsympathetic kidlets who think that Mummy is lying on the floor to give them horsey rides, not trying to cough up a lung. Bless 'em...

Couch Thoughts

1. It turns out that my hacking cough is bronchitis. A course of antibiotics have been procured, so fingers crossed it goes away.
2. How can one family create so much ironing? I'll be working on it for a few hours, once I get up off the couch.
3. One of my guesses paid off in "Sherlock" and I was happy. There was a moment where Felix had to pause the video because I was laughing so hard I had a coughing fit that lasted a while, followed by explaining why I was laughing so hard, but it was a VERY in-joke. Moffatt, you are a bugger!
4. I really do feel as if I've been run over by a truck.
5. I've knitted up two roses in the last day, and I have red-stained fingers from the yarn. It worried my doctor for a moment yesterday until I explained why.





6. Told you they look like roses eventually.

Everything's coming up roses

We came back from a Christmas visit to Port Macquarie on Monday, with approximately 3000 Butter Menthol wrappers in the car door pockets. I'd had a sore throat in the week before we left, but by Christmas I sounded like a barking seal, and my lungs vibrated each time I coughed. End result is that I'm sick, but going to my doctor on New Years Eve or New Years Day was out if the question. After last night's coughing fit Felix decided I needed a day off.

I got out of bed about three quarters of an hour ago and now I'm lying on our very comfy couch in very slobby clothes and I'm knitting roses. My darling Joannah is to be wed in March and I have the great honour of knitting up her wedding bouquet, full of beautiful red roses.

Trust me, this does turn into a rose.

Thank goodness that's over

2013 was my anus horribilis. Worst year I've ever hard. It was hard, painful and contained very few moments of joy.

It's over now, so let's move on.

Wait! I forgot to look at how much knitting I've done over the last year!

1. Lace-Edged Aran Beret (with pompom)
2. Lace-Edged Aran Cardigan
3. Hands of Cerise
4. Green Jet Cardigan
5. Knitting BFF
6. Doctor Who Selbu Mittens
7. Felix's Dapper Scarf
8. Jade's Purple Gloves
9. Radiant
10. Marcus' Green Jumper
11. Cat Draught Stopper
12. 221B
13. Sea Shells Jumper
14. Chocolate Easter Bunnies
15. Bald Child Beanie
16. Crocheted Button Bracelet
17. Marcus' Green Cabled Vest
18. Jade's Scarf
19. Butteryarn Socks
20. Lounge Room Wreath
21. Lucy and Sadie's Cable Hats
22. Da's St Kilda Beanie
23. Silky Cabled Jumper

 Niiiiiiice. Maybe it wasn't such a rubbish year after all?

......nope. It still sucked.