I was patiently waiting at Aldi in Burwood to buy my coffee pods after a somewhat meh day. As usual, I had my anti-queue knitting with me and was happily needling away when it happened.
The incredibly foolish man behind me: "Knitting at the supermarket? How very hipster."
A knitting hipster* has those huge glasses. A knitting hipster briefly yarn-bombed stuff before everyone else got into it. A knitting hipster only reads knitting zines. A knitting hipster will actually tell you that they were into knitting before it was cool.
I am a knitter. I have used my hair bun as a swift while 8.75 months pregnant. I've won competitions for my work. I've been knitting for 35 years this March. I have double point needle scars on the back of my legs, for &%#@'s sake.
I am going to slaughter this man. I turned around and gave him THE LOOK.
The incredibly foolish man manages to look embarrassed and terrified at the same time, even as he takes a step backwards.
"I HAVE TWO SHARP STICKS AND YOU HAVE TWO EYEBALLS" I bellowed as I gave my best Brian Blessed impersonation, turned and paid for my coffee then swept somewhat majestically out of the store.
Incredibly foolish people should just mind their own business.
* The knitter in the picture is Yokoo Gibraan. I have no idea if she actually is a hipster, but the photo is pretty awesome, as are her chain scarves.